Fine dining and the price of consumerism...

I recently learned that tapas is the name for a wide variety of appetizers in Spanish cuisine. I also learned that it means small and overpriced and not that tasty.

Upon dining at Solera I realized that I don't know what kinds of food there are that are out there. I also realized that I don't care too much.

Gimme my steak and 'tatos. Well...just gimme my steak, I can do without the 'tatos.


I ate lunch.

Wendy's. I had the artery clogging Triple Cheeseburger with a biggie fries and a soda pop. It was really good, but I can never finish it.

I was eating with Stanley, and we chatted about something...I'm sure it had something to do with ice fishing, ice fisting, nice fisting or something like that. I got to the final lap of the burger eating marathon, and gave up with 3-4 solid bites left.

I put the burger remains in it's greasy foil wrapper, and slide it back into the equally greasy white bag.

"What are ya doing?!?" Stanley asked in a not-so-calm, hungry manner.

"Um...I'm done," I said with grease still coating my beard.

"You're throwing away the best part!"

Now, I'm thinking...does he recycle? Is he talking about the tinfoil? Nah...Stanley wants meat, and Stanley wants it now.

He grabs my bag and opens it up, trying hard not to get any MORE grease on the grease on his hooded sweatshirt. After tearing open the tinfoil wrapper, and spreading the buns, he grabs the meat, and seductively tosses it in his mouth.

I know the last paragraph reads like a fat kid's wet dream, and let me tell you...from what I saw, it pretty much was. I was full, Stanley wasn't anywhere near full...but I'm sure we were both happy.

I thought I'd share that with you. Lesson learned: if you're not gonna finish your food, there's a good bet that the fat kid will. Give him your meat or he will starve.


We had an office sleep over last night.

It was weird.

We played spin the white-out.

Made out with a bunch of girls in the supply closet. Not at the same time. I'm suggesting that for the next office sleepover.

We made coffee and popcorn. Then we watched OSHA regulation videos and training videos.

Sally used toner ink for eyeliner, and had to go to the hospital. She may lose the sight in her left eye for a week or so. I bet she'll look funny with an eyepatch.

We all passed out around 5 am after like 20 games of Stapler Bingo, Guess that Screensaver, and Hide the Letter Opener. Brian won a lot.

We had a lot of fun, until the cleaning crew woke us up with their vacuum cleaning and mopping.


I always see stuff like this.

I don't understand it. I was looking at pictures of people with prosthetic legs, and I came across a page with these six pictures:

It reminds me of the old Sesame Street bit with, "One of these things is not like the other."

I'm guessing the picture set I was looking through was tagged with the phrase, "Legs I'll probably always stare at."


Tetris with John McClane

Last night I played Tetris with John McClane. It was a good bout. At first, we decided to play co-op. We'd play every other game, trying to beat each other's score, and everything was fine. He was calm and collected.

Then we change to playing against each other, head-to-head.

Big mistake.

Oh, sure, the beginning was fine. He was calm and collected, then, when I got a 4 line Tetris, all of a sudden, he screams, "Yippie-Ki-ay, Motherfucker!" and kicks me in the ribcage. Then he finds a fireman's hose, ties it around his waist, and jumps off the top of my house, landing in the snow.

Then the crazy bastard whips out these semi-automatic machine guns, and runs away wearing nothing but a wifebeater, brown pants, and no shoes, screaming, "I'll get you, Hans!"

Just beware of a crazy SOB fitting that description, asking if you want to play Tetris.

It was just too fucking weird.

Dream Job

My dream job will include, but not be limited to:

  1. No urine on the seat of the toilet. This will prevent said urine from dripping underneath the seat, coating my fingers when I lift the seat up.
  2. A co-worker who doesn't inform me of every hot-flash she has.
  3. Cubicles that inhibit the flow of background noise, not amplify it.



Death Toll Bridge

Really? First 6, then 7, up to 9, and now down to 4?

The only thing the coverage of this event is lacking is facts.


With every tragedy, comes ridiculous quotes and other things that anger me when I read about them.

"Obviously, this is a catastrophe of historic proportions for Minnesota," said Pawlenty said.

This line upsets for two reasons: First, because when all is said and done, and everybody looks back on this event, Tim Pawlenty wants to be remembered as the Governor who got everybody through these times. This is a catastrophe of ANY proportions, dickweed. Second, just read the sentence. "said Pawlenty said." Really? Did he say it twice? This is an AP article posted on Yahoo News. Now, after dating an AP-phile, I know that the standards associated with their "style" and journalism is second-to-none. Jesus...fix this. It makes you look like a goddamn commenter on some douchebag's blog.

Then, I read about additional coverage on the story:

* Rescuers brave horrific scene
* Cracking, vibration may have contributed to collapse, former NTSB official says
* Bridge was rated 'structurally deficient' in 2005
* 'It was the worst thing I've seen in my entire life'
* Contractor working on bridge repair is a major player in the state
* 59 on school bus survive plunge
* Hospitals deal with injuries
* Other bridge collapse disasters
* Wolves owner says his granddaughter was on bridge when it collapsed

What makes the Wolves owner so goddamn special, that he gets his own link to the tragedy by saying his granddaughter was on the bridge. That's about as relevant as saying that my third cousin knows someone who dated someone who walked on that bridge as a kid in the fifties. Who fucking cares? That being said, I hope she's ok.

Oh...and the seventh relevant story, "Hospitals deal with injuries"? Brilliant. Coming next, Police deal with crime, and the fire department extinguish fires.

I'm upset because now I have to deal with people saying to me, "Wow...how about that bridge collapse?" or the constant updates about how many people died, how many cars were involved, or how long it's going to take for the bridge to be rebuilt. It's not like I'm not looking for this information myself, and if I'm not, it's because I don't want to know. Quit bringing it up. I don't look forward to work today.

All in all, my thoughts are out there for the people involved with this, and I wish them the best. And I'd like to thank Yahoo News for giving me a little chuckle while reading:

I selected it to notify me when boom boom boom happens.