one armed waving

It's busy, we're down some people at work, and I'm missing an arm. And boy, do I miss it.

The plus side is that I can now type my password right-handed like a friggin' pro.

The negative side is that when it comes to certain things, I am a true lefty. It makes things difficult.

But, unlike Richard Kimble's nemesis to the right, I will eventually get my arm back.

The bastard (the arm, not the OAM).


broken or bruised?

Snowboarding. Afton Alps. 7:45pm.

I go and try to break my arm. I really haven't been in this kind of pain before. It's hard to describe, really.

The x-rays were the most painful. Rotating my wrist from palm down to palm up couldn't have been more painful than it was last night. I wanted to Hulk out. I truly felt like Bill Bixby. I told the nurse, "You're hurting the fuck out of me. You're not going to like me when you're hurting the fuck out of me."

At least we got a free pass to go back there again.



undies? check. handcuffs? check? both silver? check.

Just gotta love the stories you come across on the internet.


Do's and Don'ts of baby care

This is some good stuff.

Legally Drunk

I'm a little confused.

I'm reading an article that tells the story of who was responsible, and should be responsible in an alcohol-related automobile accident that resulted in the death of a minor. Details of the story aside, the term "legally drunk" was used multiple times.

Now. I know I'm reading waaaaay too much into it, but one would think that being legally drunk would mean that you had consumed alcohol, but had maintained a BAC of less than your state's legal limit, usually .10 or .08, depending on how cool your state is.

Everybody says, "the legal limit in (my state) is .08." That would mean that the illegal limit is anything above that. .09, .10, .40.

Now in the article, it says the girl who was driving was legally drunk. They mean that her blood alcohol level was above the legal limit. Of course, she was underage, so anything above a .00 is illegal. They should be saying that she's illegally drunk, right?

Am I just being weird about this, or do I have a valid argument?

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if you are drunk, and you are above the legal limit, the you should be called illegally drunk. If you are drunk, and you are below the legal limit, then you should be called legally drunk. If you are sober, and not a celebrity, you should be called legally sober. If you are a member of Congress, then you can be called illegally sober.

'nuff said.



Stomach's kind of churning. It's acid-y. What do I have in front of me for relief? Life Water, Pringles Select Parmesan Garlic potato crisps, and an orange.

Maybe I can MacGuyver them together to make a stomach-easing paste or something.


Sweet fucking Jesus. Why did this happen?

Seriously. I would like you to meet Devo 2.0, or Dev2.0 as they as also known as.

These "child actors" perform family friendly covers of DEVO songs as part of their schtick. Beca
use, why wouldn't they? Making a sequel band, with child stars no less only goes to show that there are no more original ideas left. They have all been used up and recycled as kiddy versions of 80's new wave goodness.

I personally can't wait for their family version of DEVO's cover of
the Rolling Stone's (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction. That'll go over well with the over 30 crowd.

What next? Happy Happy Joy Joy Division?

Come on, Disney. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

I will own this dog one day



Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Do yourself a favor. Go see this movie. See it with friends. See it early so you can talk about it afterwards. See it with a Lost/Alias geek for full effect.




Can't post. Angry like the HULK.


Local Superhero!

Minnesota's got a superhero! In today's write up in City Pages, we get to learn about Geist (warning! Myspace Page!). His Myspace Friends are also Suburban Superheroes. There's also a local costume maker. A Google Maps link to heroes across the U.S. and Europe can be found here.

It's interesting to see people dressed up the way they are and do the things they do. Who wants to be a superhero? I want to be a superhero!


Stop saying "after the jump". Please.

I hate it. Where am I jumping to? I've set up a filter in Firefox to change every instance of "after the jump" to "I'm an asshole author". It startles me a little every time I see it, then I remind myself, that they truly are trend following bastards, and that any fingers that touch the keyboard keys that form that phrase should be removed.

It's good to know I'm not the only one who doesn't like that phrase.

Although in my search for information I did find the history of its use.

The Fonz would call it: After the jumping the shark. Aaaaaay!


Top Ten Bowling Movies

In no particular order:

1. Uncle Buck

2. Kingpin

3. The Big Lebowski

4. ......Um...

4. ....uh...

That was the Top 3 Bowling Movies, in no particular order.


My ass.

It hurts. I went snowboarding for the first time in 7/10 of a decade, and I had a blast.

We went from 10 in the morning to 1 in the afternoon. Buck Hill has a deal during the week where if you ski/snowboard between those times, your lift ticket is only $10. They should rename it, "Ten Buck Hill". I could buy so much candy for less than $10!

10:20 - 11:30
Bunny Hill. More like Benny Hill, really. All I needed were a bunch of snow bunnies chasing me in fast motion, whilst I fall down, that'd be it. There was much falling, much exhaustion, much pain. I did so much falling on my rear end, that there were butt prints every 10 feet. The tow rope was more exhausting going up that it was sliding on my ass down. Moving around on the board? HA! Impossible at that time. I don't know how those kids can do it. Hill-1, Me-0.

11:30 - 12:00:
Lunch. I was getting shaky. Had the worst hot dog I've had in a while. Drank some Vitamin Water. Felt better.

12:00 - 1:00:
Green Circle Hill. I started feeling comfortable with my abilities, so we decided to hit the slope where normal people ski. With the exception of a few wipeouts (I have a hard time avoiding people sometimes...so I had to take a few falls to not hit them) I did pretty well. It got to the point where I could land myself right near the ski lift with little to no major effort.

Definitely want to go again. Soon. Tomorrow if I could.


I hate my truck

I don't really, but it's causing trouble right now. Trouble enough to have to head up to Brainerd to get it fixed. It kind of digs into my weekend, but that's ok. I didn't really have much planned, and if going up there gets it fixed, then so be it.

On a semi-related note, when I was a kid, my best friend, Tim, had a much younger step-brother. He was a cute kid, but totally rambunctious and loud. One day, we found out that he couldn't pronounce some words correctly. One of these words was "truck". He would pronounce it, "Fruck".

Now, this leads two mischievous adolescent buddies to take advantage of this happenstance. They had a little pre-fab fort in the backyard, so we sat in it, and had him say words and phrases like, "Mother Trucker!" and "Truck you!". Wait...did I say "say"? I meant "scream at the top of his lungs".

Holy crap did we get in trouble. After about a solid hour or two of this happening, Tim's dad came home and chewed our asses out so much, we sat funny for a week. It was such a severe tongue lashing, that his dad's face was bright red, like those heat lamps they used to sell to keep you warm, that you'd accidentally put something plastic on, and it'd melt to it, eventually burning the plastic, and creating a smell that your mother would eventually smell it, and ask you what you've done, and you'd lie to her, but she'd shut the light off and she'd see melted/burnt plastic on it and then she'd chew your ass out too.

Man...my ass was chewed out a lot when I was a kid.


I might be a liar.

I'm only saying this because I told no less than two people that I was going to rearrange my apartment, and/or clean it. This was a complete lie. The worst thing about lying is that one of the people I told the lie to was my mom. Bless her heart.

Instead, I'm going to be playing Beautiful Katamari, drinking a local beer and finding things to link to on Wikipedia.

And finally, greetings to all of my new reader. Thank you for coming, and please clean up before you leave.


Bullshit and the price of parking tickets

Another parking ticket. This time, it's for being within 20 feet of a crosswalk. Before it was for being within 30 feet of a traffic sign. Now, at least in Minneapolis, they pretty much post where you can and can't park with clearly visible signs. St. Paul must be lacking the proper funding needed to get these signs in place and to avoid having people get fined...ooh! I see what they did there.

The fines I've paid this year alone (year starting June, '07.) would have most likely funded the proper signage in the immediate areas where I park my vehicle.

I'm just worried that I'm going to get a ticket for "parking within 20 feet of (random colored) house".




Tagging is exhausting. Especially tagging after the fact. Del.icio.us bookmarks and Blogger posts.

Delicious at least makes an effort to know what you want to tag stuff with, and then makes it easy to implement that tag by simply clicking it. Whoops! Don't want that tag? Click it again, and it disappears from the entry box. Brilliant.

Blogger, however, makes an effort by showing "autocomplete tags" as you type, but for some reason, when I wanted the word "me" as a tag, since I already had "meat" as a tag, it wouldn't settle for anything less. Now, I realize that I am meat, but that's taking it a little too far. I had to add extra letters and commas and manipulate the cursor and backspace a little. Got it to work, but not without effort, and blogging should be effortless.

One last point. Blogger, get rid of the comma separation and just leave the separation to the spacebar. Having to type that comma in after every tag is tiresome, especially after tagging 20 posts. If I want to group words as a tag, I'll put them in quotes. Ugh!


Maybe it's "Happy Nude Year":

I think I'm going to try to be more naked. Mostly in my own home, and mostly by myself. I'm not a public nudity kind of guy, and that's probably because I'm not a thrown in jail due to public nudity kind of guy. And that's totally fine with me.

Winter might be an issue, and living in the ground level of an apartment building poses threats to letting the wang hang, but other than that, consider me Austin Powers in that opening scene to his second movie.


New Year's Resolution?

To have no resolutions, what-so-ever. That's all. I always make them, and never follow them. This way, I can one-up myself if I do accomplish something noteworthy.

Brilliant? Yes.