The Game of the Name

I get a few weird looks from people when they see "crushthemall". I'd say the majority of looks are looks of confusion.

"Is it crush them all, or crush the mall?"

I reply, "Yes."

When I first came up with the name, I was inspired by what is now one of the oldest Firefox extensions I use, DownloadThemAll. I always read it as something that downloads all of something, but I also had it in the back of my mind that it was also something that downloaded the mall, and it always made me smile and think to myself, "Why would someone want to download a mall? Ridiculous, if you ask me."

So, circa fall 2006, a little after the release of the Xbox 360, I decided that I needed a new moniker for my online exploits on their Xbox Live platform. I hadn't played on Xbox Live for a long time, and my last handle for that was "Pep-X", which was short for Peppermint Extract; the highly flammable, highly minty, all-purpose flavoring agent that we used while making minty shakes and malts at TGI Friday's. It was the focus of my attention waaay back in 2002, when Xbox Live first launched. I decided it would be a cool name, until it was found out that:

 A) it looked like POP-X on the tv screen, so people were calling me that all the time
and B) I barely played Xbox Live games, so that fell to the wayside.

Fast forward back to 2006 and my new name choosing scheme. I ran some potential names past my roommate. I'm sure they were ridiculous, like "Capt. Coolguy" or "TheKiller8833". I included "crushthemall" as an option and he said that out of the bunch, that one was the coolest. I agreed, and crushthemall was born.

If someone asked me the definition of the name, I'd have to tell them that it's the two following things: it looks super awesome when I kill someone in a video game, and it says, "crushthemall has beaten you" (unfortunately, that never happens very much), AND, I'm not a super huge fan of shopping malls (especially those outdoor plaza-type malls where you have to walk outside to get to any of the stores you want to go to. What kind of bullshit is that? It's friggin' Minnesota. The busiest shopping season of the year is in the wintertime. I know...let's make everybody walk outside to shop. Asshole mall planners.

Since then, I've registered a website, started a blog, created tens of online accounts with the name crushthemall and it's pretty much the new name of the day for me. I like the ambiguousness of it and what it implies.

Can't wait for the next alter ego.

nut-buttery goodness...

Did someone say peanut-butter machine?

 

To quote Linda Richmond, this this is "like buttah!"

Holy crap. I want one. It's only $50, plus shipping and handling. And it's from one of my all-time favorite catalogs I loved reading as a kid (true story), the Lighter Side Catalog. That, along with the Johnson-Smith Co. catalogs always had the craziest shit in them. I always thought that they were related to each other, somehow, and by visiting the Johnson Smith Co. website, it was pretty much confirmed.

Lovely reader(s)....feel free to buy me one! I will make you all the crazy peanut butter you desire!!!!

posting!

yup...that's right, true believers! Another fine edition of "Let's post once a week or so!".

This week's edition will have such stories as:

"I'm getting internet this week! The only problem is that I'm not going to be there for the setup, and I have a feeling that my roommate is going to get taken for a ride."

and

"I don't hate my job, I just hate everything else."

Also, look for an editorial from my darker side, pointing out the finer aspects of road rage, and over-cooking Spaghetti-o's.

Today's short story is entitled, "I didn't get a lick of quality sleep last night, and I'm pretty ticked about it."

I didn't get a lick of quality sleep last night, and I'm pretty ticked about it.



What's really funny, is that I'm so lazy that I didn't even want to lift my hand from the keyboard to select the text so I could copy and paste it again. How bad is that? Right now I'm debating whether re-typing it was being lazy, or if copy/pasting would have been lazier.

Brilliant.

remember when I used to blog?

It's been so long. The newest excuse is: I don't have internet access. Plain and simple. I mean, I have pseudo-access through my phone, but it's mediocre at best, and my battery gets all drained to shit when I use it with internet, so I try to keep it at a minimum.

Tonight, though, the computer gets transported from old place to new place. I don't really have a place to put it, but I'll figure it out. Can't be any worse than my old roommate putting his tower on the floor, the monitor on top of that, and sitting on a pillow in the living room, next to the couch. Worst desk ever.

I went to Fallcon '08 on Saturday, and was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Caroline came with, and my brother showed up, too. The $10 admission ($11-$1 for a canned food donation. Caroline supplied re-fried beans...I'm sure the kiddies will be thrilled)
for 2 hours spent there was WELL worth it. I saw Ghostbusters, Spider-Men, Superman/Superwoman, Green Lantern, the Flash, Thor, Wonder Woman (va-va-voom!) Elasti-girl, the original Batmobile, the Bat-Cycle (complete with Robin's sidecar, WITH the go-kart accessory...brilliant!), and a slew of other things. My friend, Dan, of bewilderedkid.com had a table there and was selling his wares. He was also sporting the best handlebar horseshoe moustache I've seen since the 70's.

All in all it was a really good time. I'm so glad I went. And I wasn't even looking for anything in particular. I just wanted to go.

The worst thing about the con? No camera. Seriously, my freshly re-charged batteries...not fresh...not recharged. Soooooo upset.

edit: It's horseshoe, not handlebar. Poster is a big dummy.