future zombie

We got a fella here at work who is pretty much on his way to zombie-dom. He's already showing signs of becoming one, including the glassy eyes, a penchant for brains, and most of all, the awkward, stumbling walk, as seen in many of George Romero's "... of the Dead" flicks.

I'm thinking about wearing a helmet to protect my cranium from any attacks. As stumbly as he is, he's pretty quiet on the feet. The sucker could sneak up on me, and I wouldn't even know it.

Dream Job

My dream job will include, but not be limited to:

1. No urine on the seat of the toilet. This will prevent said urine from dripping underneath the seat, coating my fingers when I lift the seat up.
2. A co-worker who doesn't inform me of every hot-flash she has.
3. Cubicles that inhibit the flow of background noise, not amplify it.

Please?